Darkest Affections
by Tsukiko Mizuno
Summary: A gift to Lightmoon54. Jellal spirals into darkness for his love for Erza. dark and angsty somehwhat. Sorta Tower of Heaven. May go to M. Most likely a two shot.
1. Love so tainted it's forbidden fruit

**My Kami. Fullbuster, you are screwed. You killed Fro-chan in an alternate timeline and are destined to do it again. If you lay a hand on that adorable and innocent cutie pie. I shall unleash a fury worse than Erza, Mira and Juvia at their most pissed. **

**I just love Fro-chan. I mean, what kind of heartless monster would hurt her. I believe Fro is a girl. Don't argue. **

**Anyway. I am making this for Lightmoon54. She's one of my favorite Fairy Tail writers. On par with WolfSpirit44.**

**This will be something that WolfSpirit44 suggested to me on Tumblr. Then I'll make another one for something Cleo-chama asked for. This one has Jellal/Siegrain kidnapping Erza for 'personal purposes'**

I've have always loved Erza. Ever since our days as slaves. She was breathtakingly beautiful even back then. How I enjoyed the chances I got to touch her beautiful scarlet hair. See her smile and laugh. Anything.

And with my love came jealousy. Simon was a good friend. But he was also a rival. He obviously his showed affection for Erza. It made my blood boil.

Back when we dreamed of freedom, I also dreamed of a life with Erza. Being in love, marrying her, having a family, growing old together. And even continuing loving each other in the afterlife. It was a dream that kept me going after harsh day. Each beating and electrocution. Just the hope that I could be with her.

But I should've known. Life has no kindness. The day, Erza, Millianna, me and the others tried to escape started a chain of events that led me to the truth.

Only in Zeref's world could my dreams and desires be realized.

Hearing the legendary Dark Mage's disembodied voice opened my eyes. I was 100% sure that my love for Erza would become fruitful through Zeref.

Everything I currently needed was in place. The tower. The workers. The means to build it. All but one thing. Erza. The most vital element to my dream. Why didn't she want the honor of being part of Zeref's revival?

There was no freedom in this world nor does any religion's form of 'Heaven' truly exist.

Was it because she didn't love me?

No, that couldn't be. She believed in me even more than Grandpa Rob.

So why?

I wanted to do everything in my power to convince her to stay by my side. But Zeref's voice took control and he made me exile her from the Tower. And she took half of my heart with her. Like my entire being was only a quarter there. Nothing would heal the wounds scarred into my heart.

That is, Wounds that would refuse to be healed until she was in my arms.

About five years past and the tower continued to be built.

In order to explain to the others what happened to Erza. I was forced to tell a painful lie. That Erza had gone mad and bombed the ships. That she fled leaving them all behind. Sho, Millianna and Wally flat out refused my claim at first but Simon remained silent.

"Seems that he believes in Erza an awful lot. Enough to see through my lies" I had thought bitterly.

In order to keep tabs on Erza, I used an enchanted mirror to keep watch over her whenever I desired. The shy, scared and non-independent Erza I once knew was no more.

It broke my heart to learn I had broken her. Shattered her fragile being and in order to cope she locked her heart behind a wall of armor and coldness. She didn't talk to anyone in The Fairy Tail Guild. The Guild Grandpa Rob had once belonged to nor did she smile. There were times when she would cry in solitary. All on her lonesome.

What I wanted more than anything was to take her back with me. Have her back in my arms and soothe the pain I had caused her. But Lord Zeref had told me the only way to gain my dream was to have Erza become my sacrifice and then once he was revived. Erza and I could live together in Heaven.

Though waiting seemed agonizing, I found a solution. I created a thought projection I dubbed Siegrain. Some would have thought it was so I could infiltrate the Council and eventually fire the Etherion. But would that only be a fraction of the truth. I did it so even if it wasn't 'me'. I could see Erza in the flesh again. Though there was a small miscalculation.

Erza hated me now. I could see it in her eyes. She loathed my very being and wanted me dead.

But since I was undercover here, I had to trick her. I told her that Siegrain was my older twin brother. It was honestly painful, lying to her. I repeatedly told myself, every day that my actions and ambitions would all lead up to us being together.

If the fact that I couldn't hold Erza in my arms was bad enough, Ultear only made it worse. Damn conniving bitch!

For three years after meeting Erza as Siegrain. My resistance was dangerously breaking. Erza got more beautiful by the day and I could barely take it anymore. If this kept going on, I was surely to screw up my own plans. I tried to harden my resolve. But the VERY next day. It broke completely. Shattered. Turned to dust and ash.

Here's what happened. I was in the Tower of Heaven as Jellal. Doing my daily routine of watching Erza. Today she was in her guild. After the Phantom Lord attack, the guild w as in the process of being rebuilt.

People were fighting as usual. And amongst all the chaos, was MY beautiful scarlet flower. She was at the bar, sitting next to the blonde Celestial Spirit Mage. What was her name? Lucy? Oh well, she was irrelevant to me. Erza was in her standard armor. She was chatting like sisters with the blonde next to her. Millianna was sure to be a bit jealous, if she ever saw this.

I wasn't much for girly conversations, but this one attracted my attention and was stuck like a fly on a spider's web.

"Erza. Do you have anyone you like?" Lucy had asked curiously.

_Erza made a cute blushing face. Sure she liked Lucy and was fiercely protective of her, as she was of all the other girls. But that didn't mean she could confide in her about that!_

_Because even through all the pain she went through, she knew she couldn't stop loving him. It was impossible._

_"Well Lucy. Before I came to fairy Tail, I had this friend. He was nice, gentle and handsome. I really looked up to him. I believe he was my first love. But after some things happened, we parted ways. It was painful, but I learned to pick up the pieces." Erza said, slightly smiling as she reminisced about the old Jellal._

_"So… if you saw him again, would your feelings of love still be the same? Or..?" she trailed off._

_Erza gave a reassuring smile. One I wished I could see in person._

_"I-I wouldn't know. With what happened between us, it be hard to love him anymore." She confessed._

…

…

…

"Hard. To love him?"

That did it. My heart of steel melted.

To Hell with the plans. Fuck Zeref's wishes. May Damnation be cruel and merciless on with my hidden feelings.

Erza was mine! I'd show her that. I should have retrieved her years ago. I'll show her the full extent of my power and have her love for me come back.

Whether she wanted it or not.

"Er-chan. I'll be seeing you very soon. Don't worry my beloved. We won't be apart for much longer." I chuckled darkly and smirked with the mirror 's image of her, I began formulating my plan.

Okay. I posted this late, but the next chapter will be up soon. Then I'll post the other one.

Here's a list of my stories status:  
Transcend Memories: Hiatus and rewrite.

I've always loved you: Rewrite.

Valentine's Day On hold.

R&amp;R. But don't hassle me to update. I don't have my own laptop and I'm trying my best. Ok? Good.


	2. Not an update

Hey guys. I know you're all expecting an update. And I know the painful feeling of waiting for an update. It's agony and just a downer. But here's the thing. I'm cancelling this story. I know you all liked it. But I'm only cancelling this fees. The other ones will be rewritten.

Cancelled: Love and Consequences and I've always loved you.

The other three will be rewritten and I may even make new ones soon.

Rewritten: Valentines Day, Transcend Memories(this one has been in my head FOREVER. Like I keep on thinking of good things to do.)

And darkest Affections.

Be patient. I may just have one update up soon.

I may even have a new story up soon.


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